After a short hiatus from doing any physical activity at all (six or seven months, give or take-- I'm fuzzy on the particulars), I thought it was time to hop back on the fitness horse. My inactive lifestyle has come to rival the stars of the "Half Ton Woman" show on the OWN Network. Add sixteen hot dogs and nine Big Macs a day to my diet, and I'm there. Time to make a change.
I did quite a few Pilates work outs during the pre-wedding prep period, so I figured I'd find a short video on Youtube today to put an end to the incessant laziness.
The first Youtube Pilates video I could find is hosted by a gorgeous, blonde Australian woman. The first thing she says is, "I'm a Pilates instructor, fitness model and journalist."
Oh, really? Is that all?
I rolled out my blue Pilates mat, brushed off her intentional gloating, and got ready for the work out. Titled the "15 minutes Beach Body Pilates work out," I figured, 15 minutes? Phsaw, noooo problem.
About half way through the video, she starts doing what I have renamed "The Devil's Leg Stabber." I think she called it a dip or something....unimportant. This move consists of having your feet a little wider than shoulder width apart and then slowly bending your knees until your thigh muscles twitch with uncontrollable pain. Repeat. A million times. Then fall on the floor and watch her do way more than you can do. Then repeat again.
Needless to say, I made it to minute ten of fifteen then laid on the floor and watched the rest of the video. Breathless beach views. And it looked like some kid and his mom were playing on the beach. Quite peaceful. If Yappy McToned Legs would've shut her trap for a second, I might've been able to hear the water. The mute button was my only option.
Now time for that glass of wine.
No comments:
Post a Comment